Current location:	Bedroom
Current mood:	crushed
Current music:	Jerra - Girl Gone

Just One...

So I've been talking alot with this friend who will remain nameless and gender-free so that people don't make assumptions on who it is.  They have four people (that I know of) interested in them, four people who want them so badly it hurts.  And yet everytime I talk to them, one of those people is causing them issue.  Unfortunately for my heart, I am included in those four.  They have somewhat come to a decison, at least temporarily and are spending time with them, getting interested in dating and such.  So everytime I'm around them, they talk about that person, so excited to have finally found someone.  It's hard to hear that someone I like so much is so damn interested... in someone else.

Sometimes I wish that one person, any one person, wanted me as badly as their four want them.  It would be so nice to hear that someone was interested in me, someone liked something in me, saw something worth caring about, worth crushing on, worth loving.  It seems like everytime I've wanted someone, I've had to actively pursue them, I've had to make the effort and I've been the one with the crush.

My girlfriend is differant.  We have an arrangement that works for us because we got so sick of waiting around for Miss Right.  We will never be lovers.  We both know that beyond a doubt.  It would be too awkward.  But we can be close and calling it a relationship allows us the safety of each other and the ability to kiss and snuggle without people rolling their eyes.  We can honestly say  "I'm sorry, I have a girlfriend" if we aren't interested.

But we aren't lovers.  And no matter what, we both know it's not the same.